All The Single Ladies

I went to a Christian bookstore today on a whim. I was in the area and they had all sorts of sales advertised on their window, so I decided to give it a walk through to see what I could see. I was perusing the books when I saw the plaque over a lone section of shelves. It said “Single Women’s Interests” or something along those lines. Being one of those, I went to check it out.

The options were slim, but they definitely had a theme. Nearly all of the books had something to do with marriage. They had everything from Lady in Waiting to some book about a praying wife which I think was probably in the wrong section. I was pretty irritated at the whole thing.
I am single, and most days I’m okay with that. In the place where God has put me in my life, having a boyfriend or husband would complicate all the things I want to do. This isn’t to say that I don’t want a boyfriend, and I definitely want to get married one day. In fact, if an awesome fellow came along, we would work through the complications together. But I am single right now. This is where God wants me. And most days, I love it.

Books like those that were displayed in the store have a place, of course. I have read at least snippets from many of the books they had, and they have benefited my life greatly. However, a section of a bookstore set aside for single women that had all those books in it gives us single ladies a strong message: “You are incomplete until you are married. If you are not married, something is wrong with you.” And even though I’m sure the authors of those books would be horrified at this unintentional message, it is being received loud and clear.

At my friend’s wedding a couple of years ago, she stuck me at a table of Christian single women with one of our friends from high school who definitely does not go to church. The women at the table talked about various things such as their jobs, but inevitably, as these things do, the subject quickly switched to men. I happily joined in and contributed my two cents about the sad state of affairs for us women. Later, my friend from high school pointed out that it was sort of weird and a little pathetic that all these women wanted was to get married. I realized that she was right. These women were great. They had good jobs, were quite good looking, and had an awesome network of friends through their jobs and church. But they were not looking at those elements of their lives. They were focused on the one thing they felt they lacked: a husband. And I joined right in.

Would we single ladies be so fixed on marriage if we were told that we were okay as we are? Why are we given the message that we are not normal if we are single? Why are we to prepare ourselves to be good wives one day when we could be encouraged to become the best woman we can be in the place where God has us right now? Is it possible to enjoy and be content in our single lives while still desiring to get married one day? I think it is.

Psalm 37:4 says, “Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” I think we get so focused on the desires of our heart that we forget to take delight in the Lord sometimes.  I know that I do. And then, as we are so focused on our heart’s desires, we ignore the first part of verse 5 too:
“Commit your way to the Lord.” I am going to start practicing the elements of delighting myself in the Lord and committing my way to him. Not so that he will give me the desires of my heart, but because He is the Lord. He is worthy of delight. And doing so will bring more fulfillment and meaning into my life than any person ever could.