Let me help you by telling you what you did wrong

In my online search for Magango Man, I have encountered some interesting applicants for that role. Interesting as in weird. These are selected points from an email from an online dating admirer, with my commentary. All personal information of his has been changed. This email was the second I received from him. This might explain why the guy is still single.

I get alone great with my parents. I moved back home for 6 months last year as I was looking to switch jobs and did not want to resign the lease that I had. I am moved back out now to an apartment.(at least there is that) I generally visit my parents a couple times a month. My dad and I share financial thoughts and I have a large role in consulting my dad on his retirement/other finances. When you talk to my mom (Um . . . when? Excuse me?)... you will get a ear full of how much she loves and appreciates me for numerous reasons (Hmm . . . would she join us on dates too?).

So what is your living situation? When do you graduate from your program? Do you have any issues (assuming all goes well) moving to the [city name] area? (Holy freaking crap this is moving fast! And yes, for the record, I do) How is your health and mental health? (say what now? I'll tell you what, my blood pressure is going up currently.) Hope you don't mind me asking... no offense is intended.(I will not be having your babies, so I don’t think you have to worry about my health and mental health. But I’m starting to wonder about yours . . . ) I am a big fan of girls having long hair (shoulder length or more) what are your thoughts on that? (At this point I walked away from my computer because I was so shocked that I didn’t know how to respond. I have never wanted a pixie cut more in my life!) What is your weekly schedule like? When are you available? for chats? for travel? for being visited? (SECOND EMAIL!) Just trying to get a handle on the logistics. My career and training also causes me to ask a lot of questions. (Okay, but at this point the questions should be like, "What sort of books do you read?" and "Do you like dogs?"). They help me formulate how best to create solutions to all sorts of questions. What questions do you have for me? Happy to answer anything that you would like to know. (Why haven’t you been snapped up yet? You’re not intense and pushy at all!)

This isn’t meant to be mean. I could have put down a lot more if that was my goal. My point here is this guy came across as desperate and intense. At this point in the communication process, it was roughly the first date.

Here is the plain and honest truth (and a helpful hint for this guy): if people like each other, they will make things work. They will not let distance or careers or anything like that get in the way of them being together. However, if you try to figure out distance and careers and whatever else before it is determined whether you two like each other or not, it more often than not will freak one of the two of you out. Figuring out the logistics of a relationship should be entered into only AFTER people determine that they like each other enough to be in a relationship.